i was happy to be a singaporean having a singaporean breakfast in singapore. i guess that spells the end of yvonne in chicago.

it’s good to back, toby.

the lyrics go, “insane in the membrane” and not “insane in the mad brain”.

all my life i’ve been singing it wrong!

so insane, got no brain.

my sis gave me a piñata for my birthday cos i’ve always wanted one.

it has been hanging from the pipes near the ceiling for a while now, and yesterday i decided to hit it.

this is what it looked like before.

this is what it looked like after.

and this was what fell out.

it was a lot sturdier than i expected, and i had to hit it really hard for quite a few minutes. after some loud whacking, the little toys finally showered the room.

so this is what it sounded like: BOOM BOOM BOOM psssshhhhhhhhh!

losing my sense of smell, which really means my sense of taste, therefore translating into a loss of appetite.

so i only know i’m hungry when my stomach starts feeling funny. i reluctantly prepare some food and i pick at it, eat just a little, thinking it’s enough. then i start getting gastric pain and it’s too late.

yes i have. i’ve gone from being animal-neutral to liking cats and dogs.

like franny the scaredy cat.

and of course, penny the pirate.

how does the gentle, majestic creature conjure such beautiful, heart wrenching songs? i don’t know, and i can’t decide which one i like better.

elephant, damien rice

elephants, rachael yamagata

has superpowers. she can splash coffee on her eye¹ . yes, you read that right. know of anyone else who has done that? and nope, outer space doesn’t count.

¹how is that even possible you ask? the physics ² of it all? you know how sometimes after sipping coffee from the cup, you set it back down on the table and the liquid splashes up? well, it splashed up and landed on my eye. voila!

²the equation can be simplified as follows, Yvonne + X = Accidents, where Yvonne stays constant, while X and Accidents can be substituted for many things. for example, Yvonne + Halloween = Falling flat on her face.

having the weekday off, waking up a little later, lying in bed, listening to music, watching the ceiling fan.

i have to quote someone else. but this is 99.99999% me. the only part that’s dubious is the part about being naturally organised. read it to get a better understanding of me, if you don’t already. it explains a lot of things.

INTJ
Conceptualizer Director

What’s it like to be you?

I often feel I am missing something, that I have a perspective or viewpoint that isn’t widely shared and that I am decades ahead of my time, maybe more. It’s like being caught in a time warp.

I tend to be someone who looks at all the what-ifs, thinking way ahead with a vision of things and anticipating. I’m always interested in extending myself into areas I don’t do well in. I’m a good problem solver from that perspective. I like to go through anything I can think of before I act—the implications, what others have tried before and their effect, my options and their consequences, who to mobilize and in what time frame. I like coming up with new ideas about how to approach a situation until I find a solution that feels right. And I like to think that solution will be something that works for everyone. I experience problems as challenges, not as things that can’t be dealt with or accomplished. Challenges can always be dealt with.

I am naturally organized, structured, and analytical. If a project enters my mind it immediately assumes the form of its pieces, its basic structure, and what order—first, next, last—it will take to get it done. This isn’t something I do, it happens instantaneously without effort. Issues are multifaceted and I try to think from different perspectives, not only my perspectives but others’ too. And I’ve found it’s good to gather as many facts as I can. Sometimes there is a piece that needs to be thrown out, or maybe it’s the seed of another project.

I won’t do something if I feel I can’t do it well. I prefer trying something, then critique after the fact. I will integrate the experience and never make the same mistakes again. I am satisfied when things work well, and I like to improve people’s lives by reorganizing and introducing things in an understandable way that is explicit and clear and makes sense. Then someone else can come in and take over. I set very high standards for myself, and I believe it is possible to be competent at anything and everything I set my mind to.

I keep myself very private; that’s a part of who I am. I keep people at arm’s length. They have to gain my trust and interest. People are curious about me, I think, but only the brave try to figure me out. I feel very serious, but some I meet I just like a lot, and I can be spontaneously playful. I have a sensitivity to people and can feel warm with them, although many perceive me as intimidating, aloof or annoyed, or incredibly calm and competent about everything. People say I ask them good questions, not to make the decision for them, but to help them think through things. I look for systems that will make things better, and I am very much a person who seeks fairness and equality. People are very important, and I want to help them develop the skills they need to get on in life, whatever that means for each one of them.

There’s always something to occupy my mind or attention. I must be using my mind in a purposefully creative way, pushing the envelope with the most creatively challenging thing I can do, being the originator of a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist yet. It’s a complex world, and I believe we each should develop as complex an inner life as possible with the facility to react or initiate in a wide variety of ways. The more successful one is at actively developing all of that and having access to that, the better things can be. If something really interests me I have an incredible ability to stick with it—even though I have a larger perspective, I can be very focused and zero in on a point. I have always seen the world at many levels.

Autonomy is important, to be respected for my own thoughts and feelings, ideas and creativity. I am turned off when people try to discredit my ideas or don’t listen before they even understand, or when people don’t try to do the best they can or fight against progress. And if the emotional piece is not well managed in my life, or not compartmentalized, work is very difficult. Chitchat is tedious. I don’t know what to say, and I figure the other person isn’t actually interested in me anyway.

Over time I have built a world-view, like constructing a map of the cosmos, and from this, essentially everything is understandable and anything is possible. All the things I’ve done, have been self-taught by picking up on or asking myself good, clear, penetrating questions to expose and articulate the hidden structures that underlie the experience of living.

the original can be found here

that was a random message from an old friend today. and it inspired me to post a new entry. because, you have no idea how much that means to me.

you see, for the past year or so, i have been constantly struggling to write scripts that are supposedly funny (to them) and are not funny (to me). of course, since i don’t know what really is funny and what is not, i have failed miserably.  as such, i have begun to doubt my sense of humour.

thank goodness i have stef and andy who think i’m funny sometimes. or maybe it’s just cos they like to laugh at crazy AZNs. whatever it is, we all have a good time. and i guess it doesn’t hurt that i laugh at andy’s lame jokes as well.

and now for some proof that i am indeed funny:
(if i’ve already related the following stories to you, you might not be laughing out loud at your computer because you have previously done so. and i forgive you for that.)

1. so i’ve been taking spanish lessons. and every few minutes or so, i would hear my teacher go something like, “anton says this” and “anton says that”. i was like, who the hell is anton? is it a game like simon says? then i check with my spanish expert, stef, and i realise that he’s been saying “entonces”, which really means “then”, and which was why he was punctuating his sentences with that.

2. for halloween, i went as a facebook-stalker, which was a lot of fun.

3. i then proceed to drink too much, and wake up the next morning with a vague impression that i fell on my face. stef SMSes me to ask if i’m alright. i look in the mirror and find that i have swollen sausage lips. turns out i scraped my face and bit on my lip doing so. it only hits me that i should go see a doctor after i speak to some friends. i end up going to ER only because it’s too late on a saturday afternoon and the clinics are closed.

well, i’m happy to announce that my face/lips seem to be healing nicely, and i don’t like antonio banderas. he just happened to be the only picture i could find of a remotely recognisable anton.